Stop Rehearsing.

Monday’s argument is over. Thursday’s meeting hasn’t happened.

But you’ve been through both of them six times this morning.

You’re making coffee and thinking of what you should have said. Driving to the store and explaining yourself to someone who isn’t there. Getting into bed and preparing an answer to a question nobody has asked.

Meanwhile, the coffee’s cold, you missed your turn, and now you’re wide awake.

Monday doesn’t need another round

You’ve finally thought of the perfect response.

Great. Where was that on Monday?

Now you’re replaying the whole conversation with your new line added. This time you say it clearly. They understand. Or they argue back, and you have to come up with something else.

You’re having an argument with a person you’re also writing the lines for.

No wonder it keeps going.

If you need to apologize, apologize. If something still needs clearing up, say it.

But if there’s nothing left to do, you can leave it alone. You don’t have to keep returning to it until you like how it went.

Thursday can wait until Thursday

You know what the meeting is about. You’ve read what you need to read. Your notes are ready.

Then you start imagining what someone might say.

What if they question this? What if they don’t like that? What if the whole conversation goes in a direction you didn’t expect?

Now you’re preparing for twelve meetings. You’re only attending one.

You can answer a question when someone asks it. You can hear what they actually say before deciding how to respond.

You don’t have to hold the meeting in your head all week.

The Antiwhelm Move

When you catch yourself running through it again, ask:

Is there something I need to do about this now?

If there is, do that. Send the message. Check the number. Write down the point you don’t want to forget.

If there isn’t, leave the conversation there.

You may think about it again. That doesn’t mean you have to follow it through another round.

Finish your coffee. Watch your show. Listen to the person sitting beside you.

Monday is over. Thursday will get here.

Do what’s in front of you.

ANTIWHELM