Before You Manage One More Thing

Nothing is on fire.

Most advice tells you how to manage more.
Antiwhelm asks why you’re managing it in the first place.

Look at what’s expected of you

• Pay the bills.
• Make the appointments.
• Pick the kids up from school.
• Get groceries. Do the laundry.
• Attend the meeting about the meeting.
• Answer the “urgent” message about something due next Thursday.
• Decode your new health plan.
• Remember which food you’re supposed to stop eating this week.
• Reply to the text before the “??” arrives.
• Plan for retirement and figure out dinner.
• Have a morning routine. And an evening routine.
• Be richer, prettier, smarter, funnier, and more organized.

Resting. Another thing to get right.

Some of this is just called living. Some of it sounded like a good idea when you took it on. Some of it is a rule you learned so long ago you forgot you could question it.

After a while, it all looks the same. Pay the electric bill. Buy the right yogurt. Answer the text. Keep improving yourself.

Add enough things on autopilot and they all start to look required.

Doing all of this was never normal. We just got used to it.

You can question the list

The bill needs paying. The kids need picking up. Pick a health plan, even if you need a translator.

But maybe you don’t need to be in that meeting. Maybe the message can wait. Maybe another adult can remember their own appointment.

And maybe you can quit something. Or do it the easy way. Or do it imperfectly and let that be fine.

You’re allowed to stop treating every item on the list like a requirement.

The Antiwhelm Move

Pick one thing taking your energy.

• Does it need doing?
• Does it need doing by me?
• Does it need doing now?

Keep it. Make it easier. Hand it back. Stop.

Just because something made the list doesn’t mean it gets to stay.