Stop Keeping Score

Someone else bought the house.

You were happy for them until you started looking at your own kitchen.

Five minutes ago, you were making coffee. Now you’re behind in life.

Their news became your problem

A friend gets promoted. Someone announces an engagement. Someone posts a vacation you would like to be on.

You take their good news and use it to grade yourself.

They have that. I don’t. They’re there. I’m still here.

You don’t even want all the things you’re counting. You just don’t like feeling like everyone else got something you missed.

Their good news took nothing from you.

You can want the house

Want a different house? Fine. Look for one. Figure out what you can afford. Make the decision when it makes sense for your life.

But someone else getting keys does not move your deadline up.

You have your own circumstances, your own money, and your own reasons. Their announcement tells you almost nothing about any of those.

Good things can happen for you too. You don’t have to turn theirs into evidence that they won’t.

The Antiwhelm Move

The next time someone’s news makes you feel behind, ask:

Did anything actually change in my life, or did I just hear about theirs?

If you still want the thing, take your next real step toward it.

You can congratulate someone without conducting a review of your entire life.

ANTIWHELM