Solve Nothing

Someone tells you they had a bad day.

You’re already thinking of three things they should do differently.

You heard a problem

They mentioned their boss. You’re looking at job listings.

They mentioned a difficult conversation. You’re drafting what they should say.

They mentioned being tired. You’re asking about their sleep.

They may have wanted to tell you about Tuesday.

You have turned Tuesday into a consultation.

A bad day can just be a bad day. Another adult’s choices can stay theirs. Some problems work themselves out.

Find out what’s actually needed

Someone may want help. They can ask, or you can ask whether they want it.

If something real needs handling, handle it. But don’t assume every complaint is an assignment.

You can listen without researching. You can care without writing the message. You can hear about a decision you wouldn’t make and leave the decision with the person making it.

Solve nothing until there’s something real to solve.

The Antiwhelm Move

Before you offer the fix, ask:

“Do you want help with this, or do you just want to tell me about it?”

Then respect the answer.

Sometimes the whole job is listening to what happened on Tuesday.

ANTIWHELM