Let Them Be Wrong.

Someone thinks you’re selfish because you said no.

Someone thinks you’re lazy because you stopped.

Someone has decided what you meant, why you left, or what kind of person you are.

Now you’re writing the text. Adding the context. Replaying the conversation so you can explain it better next time.

You’ve already explained it once. But you’re still trying to find the sentence that will make them agree.

You might not find it.

You can explain yourself all day

They can still think what they think.

You tell them you were tired. They think you should have come anyway. You explain why you changed your mind. They think you should have stuck with the plan.

They heard you. They didn’t like your answer.

Another paragraph may not change that.

People will judge you. Sometimes with very little information and a ridiculous amount of confidence.

You can spend your afternoon correcting their version of you. Then spend the evening checking whether it worked.

Or you can leave the conversation alone.

Does their opinion require anything from you?

If you hurt someone, own it. If a wrong fact affects your job or something that actually matters, correct it.

But somebody thinking you should have done something differently doesn’t automatically create work for you.

They wanted a yes. You gave them a no. They don’t approve of your decision. You’re still allowed to make it.

You don’t have to keep explaining until they feel good about it.

And you don’t have to prove you’re a good person every time someone dislikes something you did.

Let them have their opinion. You have other things to do.

The Antiwhelm Move

Before you send the follow-up explanation, ask: Is there something to clear up, or am I trying to make them approve?

If you’ve said what needed saying, stop typing.

Don’t send the extra paragraph. Don’t recruit someone else to explain you. Don’t spend the rest of the day defending yourself in your head.

You can leave it unanswered.

If they’re wrong, let them be wrong.

ANTIWHELM